My Sin
by leeksandmisosoup
Summary: [One Shot] Rosette turns to her last option to free herself from her pain. [WARNING: SuicidexAttempt]


**My Sin**

Summary: One Shot- Rosette turns to her last option to free herself from her pain. COMPLETE. WARNING: Suicide/Attempt.

Disclaimer: Sorry, Chrno Crusade doesn't belong to me… I would've changed the ending if I did.

* * *

Rosette turned to her beside table where there lay a letter. She had written it while she had laid in her bed that night, thinking about Chrno. _He'll never love me. I can't compete with Magdalene because I know he's in love with her, not me…_

She picked up the letter and re-read it:

_Dear Reverend Remington, Sister Kate, Azmaria, and Chrno,_

_I'm sorry, but I can't join you tomorrow for breakfast. I will be too busy occupying myself with the Astral Lines, becoming one with them. So, I have my will for you. Each one of you has something of mine to keep, but if you don't want it, I'll understand._

_Reverend Remington, I leave you my Militia dress, my crosses, every one of my guns, except the one for Sister Kate, and my money. I won't wear my Militia dress, so that way you won't be touching the disgusting filth that will cover my body. I'll also do this outside, so you won't have to clean up the mess I'll make. Use my money to help the convent, and you can give the new exorcists my guns if you wish. It would make me very happy if you hung my crosses in your office._

_Sister Kate, I leave you my favourite gun, my last Gospel bullet, all my Spirit bullets, and my apologies for wrecking every thing I come across. I know I'm not coordinated and that I always crash the car or destroy a building all the time, but I sincerely hope you can forgive me for it. I know how much you like to go out to the targets to test yourself, and my gun is great for speed and aim. It's also very light, so you can carry it easily. The bullets go with it, but you don't have to use or want them._

_Azmaria, I leave you all my clothes, my bible, my drawings, my parchment, and my calligraphy pen. I know how much you like to draw, and how much you love my drawings, so I'm giving you my supplies. That way, you can improve. You always complimented me on my clothes, so I'm giving you them, and I know you don't have a bible (I know you're borrowing one from the convent). Sign your name in the first page, underneath mine and Joshua's. Give it your kids or someone you care about later on._

_Chrno, I leave you the pocket watch, our memories, and my heart. I know that you love Magdalene and I know that I can't compete with her for your love, so even if you don't want it, it's yours. Promise me you'll keep all our memories (even the ones with Joshua), and all includes the happy and the sad. Of course I'll give you the pocket watch back. I mean, after all, it is yours._

_I don't care if you burn me or bury me, which ever you think is right._

_Please tell Joshua that I'm sorry, and that I love him._

_Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. One of the biggest sins: suicide._

_Love,_

_Rosette._

Rosette wiped the tears falling from her eyes. Little tear droplets stained the parchment, blurring the writing a little. Putting down the paper on her table again, she reached under her pillow for her favourite gun. She fondled it a bit, feeling the familiar grooves of the gun and the familiar smooth feel of the trigger. Sighing, Rosette stripped herself of her Militia dress and changed into her old exorcist one. It was a little tight, but other than that it was fine.

She slipped out of the girls' dorm, and into the corridors' shadows unseen. She passed by the cafeteria, and just missed the person coming out.

* * *

Chrno made his way to the girls' dorm, looking for Rosette. It was unlike her to skip dinner. Hell, it was unlike her to skip any meal or anything with food involved! That made him a little worried, knowing that she didn't show up for dinner. So, he decided to go check on her.

He slipped into her room. Odd, she wasn't there. _She never misses a meal. Rosette… what's wrong?_

Then he saw it: the letter she had so nicely and neatly written. He picked it up and skimmed through it. Reading over his paragraph, he gasped. She was going to kill herself!

He raced out the dorm, through the halls, and out in to the fresh air of outside. _Rosette… I don't love you, but I do care… I really care… Isn't that enough?_

* * *

By the time Chrno had read the letter and was making his way outside, Rosette stood in an open spot, large enough for a body, in the cemetery. She sighed to herself, and lightly pressed the gun to her right temple. She moved it back a ways, to the center of her head. Tapping her head with it, she smiled.

Some rustling diverted her attention, making her head turn towards the convent and lower the gun. A dark shadow was advancing on her. Squinting, she saw it was Chrno.

"Rosette!" he called, reaching one hand as if to grab her and stop her. "_Stop_, Rosette! _Why_ are you doing this?"

When he was five feet away, Rosette stuck up her hand to stop him. Her eyes filled with tears as she looked at him and her words came out in a whisper, "Because I can't _take_ it anymore! I want to be released from the pain! Knowing the person you love the most loves another who, _by the way_, is dead and is _not_ coming back, hurts too much!"

"Rosette, I…" Chrno wanted to make her stay, and if telling her he loved her was the only way, then he'd do it, even if it was a lie. "I lo-" He abruptly shut his mouth. He tried again, "I lo-. Rosette, I lo-"

For the life of him, he couldn't understand it. They were three little words that he was supposed to say, but he just couldn't.

"Do you love me, Chrno? Please, tell me… tell me you love me. I love you so much. Tell me… please…," Rosette whispered with tears running down her face. _I'll die if you don't tell me… Please…_

Chrno couldn't say it. That would be betraying Magdalene, and he couldn't do that. "I'm sorry, Rosette. I don't love you. I love Magdalene." His head was bowed, but he raised it to see her face.

Her hair was matted, blue eyes red and puffy, tears streaming down her face which was contorted in pain and anguish. She nodded her crying head, biting on her bottom lip. "'Kay, thank you, Chrno."

Raising the gun to her head again, Rosette's finger slid its way to the trigger. She gripped the gun harder, gritted her teeth, and jammed her eyes shut, awaiting the brief, not even a millisecond, of pain that would come.

But it didn't. Chrno jumped up and knocked the gun away before she had the chance to pull the trigger. He grabbed her roughly by the shoulders and started shaking her, claws biting into her skin and drawing blood.

"What do you think you are doing, Rosette!" he cried out, accidentally pushing her on the ground.

"What does it look like?" she retorted, growing angry at him. While he shouted about how selfish and foolish she was, her eyes scanned the ground for the gun… Ah! There it was, lying beside a square block of limestone acting as someone's grave.

Diving, Rosette rolled, grabbing the gun and landing back on her feet. Chrno's eyes widened, amazed that she had completely passed him. He glared at the blonde, squinting his crimson eyes, silently challenging her for the gun. Unfortunately, that wasn't about to happen.

Rosette jumped up, running faster into the cemetery, maneuvering so that she jumped the short tombstones and skidded around the larger ones. Glancing behind, she found out Chrno was chasing her. She charged ahead, putting some distance between them, and ran back around to the place she had picked out earlier.

She skidded to a stop at the grassy, bare spot. Raising the gun to her head, she whispered, "I love you, Chrno. And thank you."

The next thing Chrno knew, Rosette was lying face down in the ground, unmoving.

_I love you, Chrno…_

* * *

An hour or two later, Reverend Remington, Sister Kate, Azmaria, and almost all the other Sisters came rushing out. Even the Elder had joined them.

Chrno sat with Rosette's body in his lap, her delicate face tilted towards his. His tears ran down his cheeks and onto her face. He pulled her tighter to him, as if giving her body heat would make her cold, dead body warm and alive again. He barely heard them approach from behind him.

"Chrno, we heard a gunshot and we came to-" Sister Kate never finished her sentence as she glanced at the body in his arms. _"R-Roset-te?"_

Chrno lifted his face to gaze at them. "She shot herself," he whispered, "and I couldn't stop her. Because _I_-" he sobbed as he bent over her dead body, "_I_ didn't love _her_ the way she loved _me_…" His violet hair came out of its braid as he shook his head. He cried over her body, tears coming non-stop.

Azmaria gasped, and turned to Remington, crying her eyes out onto his clothes. He held her tight against him to ease her pain.

"There… there's a note… for _us_… _Me_, you, Reverend Remington, and Azmaria… Up… up in _her_ room…" Chrno lifted her body closer to him, and gazed into her closed eyes. "I wish you could have stayed with me, Rosette… I wish you could have stayed…"

Sister Kate reached out her hand to take Rosette from the demon, but Chrno just pulled her away. Sister Kate retracted her hand, and left it hanging against her side. She turned her head to look at Reverend Remington, who so delicately held Azmaria. She watched as Azmaria pressed herself against him, her fists gripping his clothing 'til her knuckles turned white. The two of them met eyes, and Remington nodded to her. She nodded back, and turned to look at the other Sisters, sobbing and sniffling against each other. Sister Kate shooed them away, then went back with them to the convent, taking a last glance at Chrno and Rosette.

Reverend Remington wrapped Azmaria in his arms, hugging her tightly to him. She screamed out her pain into his chest. He wrenched his eyes shut, twin teardrops falling down his smooth face. He heard Chrno howl out to the moon, a sad, mournful sound that no one should have heard. The pair of them stopped to look at Chrno who was running his fingers up and down the side of Rosette's face. He kissed her on her forehead, her cheeks, the tip of her nose, and her once-rosy lips. Azmaria turned to look up at him, her tear-streaked face pleading with him to do something. He picked her up and gave her a comforting kiss on the forehead, and walked away, silently.

They let Chrno take Rosette's body back. It took him 50 minutes to get it together. He burst open the door and laid her down on a long, wooden, dining table. That's when he broke down. "Rosette! Somebody, please! Wake her up! Wake her up! Please!" The Elder shook his head in sympathy. Chrno had gone hysterical. They had had to keep him from her until the funeral.

* * *

After her midnight burial and the reading of her letter, Chrno lay in her bed. He turned on to his stomach, sobbing into her silk pillow. All he could think about were Rosette's eyes, full of love for him, right before she died. It didn't help it either that every breath he took brought the scent of her from her pillow into his nostrils.

_Would it have been different, Rosette? Would everything have changed if I said 'I love you', too? I love you, Rosette, I really do. I only wish I had realized it while you were still here, with me…_

**Fin.**

**Musical Muse:** The Final by Dir en Grey

(A/N: Whew! That took me for ever! I wrote it all on September 6th after Labour Day, right before I had to go to school. Amazing what inspiration can make you do… It's practically like I had the whole thing all thought out. I made Chrno feel guilty : ( Sorry, but I read something sad, so I thought of something sad, so it _made_ me write something sad… I feel depressed now! Maybe your reviews can cheer me up... hint hint...)


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